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Too Tired for a Tittle..

08.10.01 @ 22:00
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Just a short entry to update the oh so thrilling goings on here in CrankyLand. Warren was supposed to decorate pumpkins at hid Den meeting tonight. I even stayed up last night cussing and swearing to get the patches on his sleeves. But when I picked him up tonight he was crankier than ususal. I got him home, and when I was giving him the shirt to put on, he said he didn't feel well. I checked his forehead and sure enough, our friend the flu bug has come to visit. So I gave him some juice and some Motrin jr. and sent him to bed. Later I gave him some Children's Nyquil and we read from his Wolf pack book, so at least we did go thru the steps of the BobCat trail, even if he didnt get to decorate pumpkins. Oh well. By 7pm he was out like a light. He did manage to eat a bowl of cereal, but I could tell he definately is not feeling well.

The check I was counting on, didn't come today. Nothing came today. I was less than happy when Warren reminded me, its stupid lost explorer day. (aka Columbus Day). Grrr.. My friend Calthea the history buff, may take me to the woodshed, but I'm not a big fan of celebrating a day dedicated to some one who is taking credit for something that someone else did long before he made it public. As an American of Scandinavian descent, I know the Leif Erikson was on North American shores long before ole Chris turned on Queen Isabellas favors. Columbus didn't even know we were here, he thought he was in India. I can be proud to be an American with out being proud of all American history. I also believe that I can love my country with out supporting all of her actions, and that I should admit when my country has to put it crudely "royally F***ed Up!!. There are many such examples, starting with our treatment of the Native Americans, up thru slavery, the internment of Japanese American citizens during WWII, Miss Evers Boys, many experiments of the 60's, and yes a large part of the whole Vietnam issue which I won't get into here. That does not mean I am not proud to be and American. I even fly and American flag on my front door. America is a great country. It is one of the few countries on Earth where one can publiclly critize the government or speak out on issues that one believes strongly in. We have along way to go and much work to do, but we have the right idea. On a socialogical evolutionary scale, we are approaching the end of adolescene and must know decide to grow up and put away such childish things as this "We vs. They" attitude that has caused more grief than anything short of money and sex. I dont mean just religion either, but we vs they also covers race, belief, culture and anything else that can be used as a means for excluding a group and thus dehumanizing them because anyone who agrees with "them" isn't as good as "us". "We" are right, "they" are wrong. We must get rid of or overwrite that which we see as "wrong". *steps off soapbox.

I know I havent' written much lately about what is going on in the world. It is always on my mind. I am just not sure how much I wish to go into my beliefs right now. I am neither a war championer, nor am I a pacifist who believes we should always turn the other cheek. There is a time an a place for both actions. Sometimes you need to say no, other times one needs to defend oneself. Right now we need to defend ourselves, but ... well I am not sure what I am feeling right now to be honest. I dont' like war, I dont' believe a human has the right to take another human life, with the exception of defending ones self or others against an attack or percieved threat of ones life. I also believe that sometimes one has to make decisions between two choices neither of which is pleasonat. Sometimes we will not know until much later if we made the right decision or not. After all if the US, had not joined WWII, there is a fairly certain chance that a large portion of the world would be goose stepping behind a Nazi flag. This whole situation just has me sick. I have enough stress in my regular life, I am not sure I can handle adding global stress about the immediate future of my planet on top of it. I need an emotion chip, so when things get too intense I can just turn my feelings off, and do what I need to do.

Well this is a shorter than normal entry I know, but I am just not feeling quite my self at the moment. I am actually feeling just a 'tad stresses to the max. I am going to grab somethign to eat, if I can find something, and the proceed to get lost in a world where people don't have to worry about bills, and they dont' find it necessary to kill each other. I'm soo tired right now , physically, emotionally, and spirtually. I could sleep for a month.

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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