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Mother Mary come to me, speaking words of wisdom...
Dear Mother Mary,
Where to I go to temporarily turn in my membership card for the Union of Motherhood. I need a break, a real honest to goodness, son free, man free, stress free break. I was torn today, on the razors edge between do I kiss him first and then kill him, or kill him first and then kiss him. I love him, but I feel this current assignment may be more than I am configured to cope with.
Half of me wanted to kill him when I found him, the other half of me kept picturing poor Jeanna North, and praying to God Almighty for him to just be alright. Being only nine, he doesn't always think about what his simple carelessness can do to his poor weak hearted mother, and he still believes he is immortal and bad things only happen to other kids far away. He will always be safe and be able to handle anything. He thinks bad grownups are only in movies, and that he is capable of protecting himself. This is a safe neighborhood, but Jeanna's parents thought that too, so did Jacob Wetterlings parents.
He has been told time and time again, to the point of exhaustion that he is not to leave one place and go to another unless he checks in with me first. This means when we are shopping in Wal-Mart and I leave him looking at toys because pricing dishwashing detergent ranks low on his list of intersts, that when I come back he will be in said toy department, or at the very least somewhere in Wal-Mart. Who ever programmed this child's brain left out the chip that ensures, when said child runs into a friend who says "Hey Warren wanna go next door to Toys R Us and play video games?" Said child's first response will always be "Let me ask my mom first, she gets very freaked out when she doesn't know where I am". Not "Sure lets go".
Also can I change the chip which is programmed to have a meltdown whenever life's course of events veers off of the most desirable path, to one which understands that when mom says "No you may night ride your bike, alone after dark to a large store a mile away on a major highway just for a $3 toy" that just perhaps it is because she loves you and worries about your safety, not because she is an evil witch woman bent on making your short life as miserable as possible. This same reasoning also applies to not allowing ice cream as an acceptable dairy alternative at dinner, though said child refuses to acknowledge it.
So you see dear Mother of us all, I am in quite a situation here. I love this child with all of my heart, but he has pushed my limits to the point where I feel like asking you just one last question before submiting for temporary relief.
How the hell did my mother ever survive this?
The (very) Cranky One
Yes we did find him finally. After I noticed his bike was gone from Wal-Mart I walked home to see if he came there, but he wasn't there. So I called Wal-Mart and sat on hold for a couple of eternities while they paged him. Nada, so then that little maternal voice in my head which knows my boy all to well, called Toys R Us, but nope he never answered the page. I set out to walk back to Wal-Mart. (nothing like boys to make sure you get your exercise) and find him, half way there I run into him. Seems one of his little buddies was in Wal-Mart, unsupervised yet (some parents!! I mean the kid is only 10)and asked him to come play video cames at Toy Hell, er I mean Toys R Us.
So we get home, and voila there is a message on the machine from Warren at Toys R Us, trying his best to let his dottering old fool of a mom know that his is just fine and is comming home, not to worry. Yeah, well I place the curse on him, just like my mom did. Some day, he is going to have a little him. Then it will be my turn to sit back and laugh as he has a nervous breakdown.
In other news, I am amazed at how much I still got done. My dishes are done, cept for tonights, I cleaned the rest of the kitchen, which thanks to my shopping trip now smells like a Florida orange grove. Orange dishwasher detergent combined with orange scented pine sol, makes for one citrusy kitchen. I also cleaned the bathroom. (What is it with guys, that makes them unable to hit the toilet, and unable to crasp the simple physics bechind inserting the toilet roll spindle into the new roll of toilet paper?). I even cleaned up my bedroom. All I have left is the living room, the one that I can't walk through because of all the toys.
Yesterday, we made bread. French bread to be exact. Warren's came out so perfect. I wish I still had the cord to my digicam so I could have taken a picture. IT was excellent, and tasted good too. We also made it to the land of crackhead bagboys, and got groceries, but Warren's tooth fairy toy (he FINALLY lost that front lower right corner tooth), somehow never got rang up. When he got home and it wasn't there, he had a coniption fit. Of course that let to a meltdown, becuase he has an evil witch of a mother who wouldn't let him ride his bike to Wal Mart or Toys R Us to get another one.
We also went to Wasted Acres and saw ST: Nemesis. It was actually pretty good, one of the better of the STTNG, ST movies. Though I am a little disturbed by one thing. IF you are a STTNG fan and haven't seen the movie, consider this a spoiler: You have been warned. I am more than a little shocked, upset, sad that Data the Spock like character of the Next Gen, decided to pull a Leonard Nimoy on us. I mean it was great for the story, but I loved that character, and haven't we done this before. I mean I know we still have B-4, and BS was worried since it is his face and his character is the one that wouldn't age, but still. It was a good movie, better than most ST, but still a bit disapointing. Nice to know we are making friends with the Romulans though, even if they did seem a bit out of character. Maybe its just me, but it seems like since the Great Bird of the Galaxy has passed on to that Wagon train in the stars, ST's quality just hasn't been the same. I mean the series are usually pretty good, but the movies just don't seem to quite have the same magic. And even so the episodes before his death seem to be better.
Prequels ~ Sequels
Music of the mind: :
~*~Have you read these~*~
~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~
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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.
I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.
I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.