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Wedding Bell Blues

2001-05-19 @ 3:24 p.m.
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I am stepping out on a limb here by posting a story I am working on.. (have been working on off and on for some time now..) It is a revamp of the stories I have posted on my other web site (see the link on he side~For the Truly bored~..

If you have any constructive comments please help me out.. It needs work I know..

Disclaimer: Just the usual. I didnít create these characters. I own no rights to them. No money is being made. Everything is owned by George, I am just borrowing them for my own pleasure. Please donít sue me. If you have any comments I can be reached at marasjade@microsith.com. But for the sake of my ego, if you have any criticism please by kind. I get nasty when I get flamed. However I am very willing to listen to any intelligent commentary even if you donítí like my story. Please donítí expect immediate answers however as Darth real life is being rather difficult these days and I donít always have time to answer.

I would like to thank everyone who made suggestions and was kind enough to read this and give me feedback. I would also like to thank Meatloaf and Chicago as it was listening to your music that provided me with much of my inspiration.

I was lost till you were found
But I never know how far down, I was falling
Before I reached the bottom
I was cold and you were fire
And I never knew how the pyre
Could be burning, on the edge of the ice fieldĒ
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD lyrics by Jim Steinman sung by Meat Loaf from Bat Out of Hell album

Chapter 3 Wedding Bell Blues

It was almost like a dream. It was real, yet there was a feeling they shared that somehow it wasnít real. That any minute now they could wake up and it would all be gone. That none of it will have happened. It was a sense that it was too good to be true, and if they werenít careful it would all come to an end.

For the first and perhaps the only time in his life Han wasnít objecting to wearing stiff dress clothes. He was too nervous to notice.

ďGet a grip Solo!Ē he told himself. ďYouíve taken on Jabba, Boba Fett, and Darth Vader with less anxiety, the three of them together arenít as scary as walking down that isle again. Youíre so tightly wound if they dropped you, youíd bounce. The first wedding wasnít this nerve wracking. It should be easier the second time. Of course the first time you had Chewie there to keep everyone in line. (Mentioning about beard??).Ē

Wiping a tear from his eye he realized this was the first time he had been able to think of the big Wookie with out anger or guilt clouding over. He was finally at peace. He knew that Chewie would always be with him, be a part of him. It was Leia of all people who had finally helped him see that he was becoming exactly the opposite of what Chewie would want. It was a long hard road, and it almost caused him everything, but he was finally exactly who he was meant to be. He no longer felt the anger and rage that had threatened to destroy him and everything he loved. It was a long night, but with Leiaís help and love he was finally able to come to terms with years of anger over past hurts. From being abandoned by his parents, and then by ______________ and Bria and then again by Chewie. It wasnít just grief that was driving him it was all those years of not feeling that were coming up to a head and couldnít be repressed any more. It wasnít until he faced a very real possibility of loosing the one thing he had always taken for granted and counted on more than anything, that he took along hard look and admitted the truth. That was the longest hardest trip of his life. Leia was so close to death, and yet all she could think about was him.

Chewie was the only other person he had ever been that important to. Chewie was also the only other person to stick by him, and not let him drive them away. And he had to face it all over again with Leia. It was when she slipped into a coma that it all came rushing to him. What a fool he had been. How could he have just walked away? How could he give up all he had? They had survived so much together, and now he was throwing it all away. She almost gave up the rebellion, not to mention her life to get him back from Jabba when he was carbon froze, yet he had been willing to turn his back on her to protect that last little part of him self. That was when the pressure finally burst the dam. For the first time since he was a small child the tough, devil may care smuggler had been brought to tears. Not just for the loss he was facing but for all the losses he had faced. It was the last chip in the dam that weakened it to the point where it couldnít hold on anymore. It all came out, everything. His grief and anger over Chewie, all the losses he had faced in his life, his lifetime of holding it in, finally came to an end. Strangely it was his tears that had waken Leia, he hadnít even noticed her return to consciousness, until he felt her arms move. It was then that he looked down and saw that she was wiping his tears. HIS tears! How like her, even at deaths door she was too busy looking out for everyone else. And to top it all off, she was apologizing to him. She was near death, yet she was thinking of him. This moved him to tears even more. Now she was crying. This was just too much for either of them.

The only thing they could do was to hold each other and cry till it was all out.

That was when they had decided that if they ever managed to get out alive they would renew their pledge to each other by renewing the wedding vows they had taken so long ago. They had both been so caught up in their own lives they had drifted apart. They had been in pain and had returned to the old comfortable behaviors they had been using when they first found each other.

Both of them had been so wrapped up in their own pain, and sense of righteousness, that they had blinded them selves to the other ones pain. Now they were faced with losing each other forever. It was the reality of this situation, that had finally forced them both to admit that they were both wrong. He still didnít know how they ever managed to get to the medical frigate in time, but they did and he had never been so thankful for anything in his life.

The fact that Leia was able to keep her legs was nothing short of a miracle. It was tragic, but looking back Leia realized it was actually a blessing in disguise. For the first time in her life, Leia had been forced to stop, to stop moving to stop doing, to actually depend on someone else.

At first she hated it. She hated it with a passion, and made sure everyone knew it. She was not the easiest patient in the world. Poor Han, all she put him through and did to him and yet he stuck around. After the vows they had made in the Falcon when they thought she was dying, he kept every word. She never would have admitted it at the time, but she was glad, very glad. He was the only one, aside from Luke and her father who ever truly knew her. Eventually she decided maybe it wasnít so bad depending on someone else. It had actually brought them closer together.

But it wasnítí until near the end of her recovery when she had thrown the wine glass at him in a fit of anger that they finally came to terms with their new relationship. And she was able to walk for the first time since the incident. Leave it to Han to get her to walk by making her angry enough to come after him. But when he came back with the ring that was when she lost it. Princess Leia Organa Solo was not one easily moved to tears but this gesture had her sobbing like a child. The ring was beautiful. The proposal was beautiful. And she knew she would be standing at her wedding or die trying. Han was the only one who had seen her legs since the surgery. He was right unless a person had to know exactly what to look for, and he was the only one out side of the medical personnel who ever got close enough anyway. No one could tell what part was really her, and what was prosthetic. They looked every bit as real as they ever did. The prosthetics were blended with her real legs seamlessly. And they had all of the same sensations. She would just have to get used to it. Han didnít seem to care one way or the other. That night they had made love for the first time in ages and it was like it WAS the first time. It was like they were discovering each other, getting to know each other all over again for the very first time. They had been married through twenty years of kids, wars, political intrigue, and threats of every sort, but they were looking at each other like a pair of newlyweds who had waited for the wedding night. They had hurt each other so much in the last few months she had began to think it was beyond repair. The elation at discovering it wasnítí thrilled her to her very core. Now here they were about to stand up in front of all their friends and family to renew their pledges all over again. Leia suddenly felt a warmth rush through her as she realized how lucky she was, how many people never get to experience the wonderment of marrying their soulmate once, much less twice in a lifetime. It was a terrific feeling, and yet a scary one. The thought of some one loving her that much was frightening, she didnít feel she was worthy of it. It was silly but she felt like the risks of loss were just too great, and yet she would do anything to hang on to this. Well here goes everything. She took one last look in the mirror then proceeded to take a deep breathe,

ďHere goes everything.Ē She said to herself. Then she adjusted the tiny flowers woven into the braids around her head, ran her fingers through the long tendrils handing down her back, and stepped out into the light.

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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