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Okay maybe the FDA didn't chase it all away

Monday, Oct. 22, 2007 @ 8:07 pm
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time for more free association to try and open up my brain.

As ususual you can click and get your own, if you would like.

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Yesterday's entry completely left out the funniest klutz move of all, the one that started the whole fiasco. I woke up early Friday morning to pee {I drink way to much water}. It wasn't until I had gotten out of bed and almost fallen on my face that I realized my entire lower right leg was asleep from somewhere on my calf all the way down. I managed to make it to the bathroom, but it was a very interesting walk, especially at 2 am. Don't ask what posistion I was asleep in. I have no idea. But I've noticed it a few other times. I haven't noticed it to the point where I can't walk, but I do feel odd tingling if I sit too long, or if I have my leg in some, admttedly odd by some standards, positions. I've noticed it comming on and moved to fix it, but it is still unnerving.

I had a long thought out entry about sizes, beauty asthetics in cultures and time periods in history {by today's standaards of Hollywood beauty Mae West, Marilyn Monroe, Betty Paige all would have been considered obese, yet at thier time they were quite sexy, and still are}. But a two hour meeting on adverse reporting, FDA requirements, and mail list issues, pretty much wiped my brain out. {on the brightside, it ran long so I got overtime}.

If you think about it, the standard of beauty in most time periods and cultures represent a difficult if not impossible to obtain {at that time} standard which upheld religious ideals and represented that periods ideal of wealth and superiority. When food was scarce, expensive and not readily available to most, fatness was a sign of wealth it meant you were rich enough to afford plenty to eat, and didn't have to work. Most people were thin and had to work sun to sun and beyond just for survival.

Today food is overly plentiful {at least bad, cheap, unhealthy food} in most places, and most people are too busy with work, kids, etc.. to make separate time for exercise {although you'd be suprised how easily it can be done, if one really really wants to make an effort}, and most of us spend our days in front of computers, tvs, in meetings, in cars, on trains etc.. sitting on our butts. We eat because we are sad, we eat to celebrate, we eat because we are bored, we eat to network, we always eat. Being thin and spending hours in the gym is a sign of being wealthy and leisurely, that you are some how elevated in some warped way.

I know it goes a lot deeper and is more complicated, as some cultures are much stricter about being small and shunning weight gain, while other cultures revere largeness. But I'm mainly focusing on the modern First world culture. It isn't good enough to be healthy and strong, to have a 'normal' wieght, what ever that is. I think it is a misonmer as even if two people have the same height, many other factors affect what may be the best weight for them. Now its some how become chic to look like you haven't had a meal in a year.

Yet we are surrounded by supersized, over caloried, nutrionally devoid food at every turn. Its like some sort of bizarre test of wills, can we walk the Cinnabon maze and come out the other end with out adding any Cinnabon to our buns. We are pushed to eat, eat eat, while simultaneoiusly being admonished about the evils of obesity and over eating.

Fat people are looked down on and made fun of, the last ignorned minority, yet they are fast loosing status as a minority. We all know what a healthy diet is, we all know fresh carrots are better for us than carrot cake, but we also know which one will make us feel better when life throws a curve ball.

We live in a country with more food than most of our anscestors could dream existed and yet a fair portion of our population is voluntarily starving themselves or worse, People get as addicted to plastic surgery as they used to to drugs and booze. Reality make overs are everywhere, No one is good enough, they can also be perfected.

Woman's magazines always flount health and diet articles, exercise routines, separated by recipes for killer desserts and fattening meat recipes. In between those adds for prepared foods, effort saving devices and oddly enough spiritual articles about acceping ourselves and making peace. Is it just me, or does that seem like some sort of cruel cosmic joke.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like our culture is setting us up to fail, or at least feel like failures, and than tell us how we can succeed so its anever ending self reinforcing cycle.

Build them up but not too much and sneek some temptation in there, so they will be sure to fail and we can sell yet another newer better fix em up fad next month.

It's enough {well almost} to make one briefly consider hermitage.

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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