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The whole long sad story

Sunday, Apr. 15, 2007 @ 11:11 am
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First I want to thank Calthea for updating for me. Second, thank all of you for your lovely comment and your prayers and wishes.

Warren is going to be okay, but he is lucky to be okay. It's been a very long night, I finally got home about 5:30 am, but it took another few hours to get Warren cleaned up and to go to sleep. I also needed a few hours. I could use a lot more, but my body woke up, so I'll roll with it.

I guess the best way to explain what heppened is to start at the beginning.

Yesterday I woke up in a very bad mood. I was rather depressed. Warren was worried about me, but eventually I did get up and we had banana pancakes for late breakfast.

After that we just kind of lay around not doing much of anything. Eventually we just got up and walked to the video store for something to do and rented some movies. At this point Warren was just fine and normal.

After we got back we watched on of the movies. Then Warren started calling some of his friends.

Around 6 or 7 I started making burgers {bison, I no longer eat beef, but that's another entry}, and roasted potatos for dinner. One of Warren's friends came by and he suddenly decided he was going to leave for a few minutes. I didn't want him going anywhere after all that had happened and because I was making dinner. But against my better judgement I let him go, he promised he would be back shortly and could reheat his burger.

I ate by myself, and did some stuff on the interent. No Warren. About 9:30 I had a loud knock on my door.

My son was at thier house {another friend a girl, who is just a friend of thiers}, and he was drunk and puking all over and being obnoxious, and they had to keep him from walking home as he could barely stand and most likely wouln't find his way anyhow, even though it was only a few blocks.

She gave me a ride over, and Warren was in bad shape. Because he couldn't tall us what he drank or how much or where he got it. {he had been with the kids watching movies, than he left , fine, and came back plastered to the ceiling}, or what else he had in him. I had her call 911. After the police came and got thier information the ambulence took him to the hospistal.

He ened up spending the night there until he woke up on his own and could answer questions with an answer that made sense and could walk normally.

Luckily his liver enzymes came back in the words of his doctor "stone cold normal" indicating he had not done much prevsious drinking or been using other drugs.

His blood and urine also tested clean for any drugs,other than alchohol. So he slept it off while being monitored and with an IV for fluids.

Once we knew what was what, they gave me an empty room I could go sleep in. I at least got to watch some tv {it calms me}, but those hospital stretchers are beyond uncomfortable. By the time I got to sleep it was about 2 or 3 in the morning. Warren woke up about 5 ish.

He has very little memory of last night, and wont tell me who gave him the booze, only that he had everclear {major nasty shit} and vodka. Which would explain the ba of .203. I think I would be unconsciuos if I drank that much.

I am just greatful, that the people with him were responsible enough to get help and let me know what was going on. I'm not sure if they were telling the truth or not, but at least Warren is okay. For now.

His behviour this year, has been out of control and over the top even for him. He's a good kid, in there somewhere, but I have no idea where. He is on his last rope everywhere. I fear he may need treatment involving more than I can provide.

Strangley I can deal with this better, ro maybe I"m just in so much shock, non of the emotions has kicked in yet. All night was kind of a surreal experience. Like I wasn't really there, just watchign a movie, or having a bad dream..

I need to make an appointment tommorrow, or soon to talk to one of his professionals, the kid is going down hill fast and I can't understand why he is acting so stupid. He still doesnt' see what how what they did with the car was so dangerous, or how many lives he put at risk. I try to punish him and he refuses to listen. Says he only listens when he thinks I am fair andmakes sense to him. He thinks he is in control when in reality he is totally out of control.

IN short my son seems determined to turn into his father, which has me worried. One my one he seems to be making the same destructive choices that got his father, grandfather and great grandfather into so much trouble, each generation progressivley worse.

He is beyond a few milligrams of Geodon at night. He is beyond me. I've never dealt with this before. When I kept my baby I had visions of swim meets, boy scout meetings, and chaperoning school dances in my head, not rushing a serously underage drinker to the hospital or sleeping with keys to a totally worthless car under my pillow {'nother entry on that another time}.

I will not let my son, become another in the long line of fuckedup members of that damn M***** family. But I"m not sure how to stop him. I fear he needs long term help, more than big brother, or PATH. He needs to be under somebody's watch 24/7 until he can get his act together and stop trying to self destruct while taking others around him down in the process.

I never asked for this, why us?? I blame myself for it, but I also serously blame his father. I should have followed my gut and not let Mike have anythign to do with Warren. But its too late how.

I have to make choices I would never wish on any mother ever.

Thank you all for being there, you have no idea how much it means to me.

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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