*Make My Day
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Recently shared thoughts
I snagged this from Kat's MySpace. I thought it was cool enough to share here.
THE RULES :
- List ten things you want to say to people but know you never will.
- Don't say who they are, use people only once.
- All who read (and feel like it) this must post in their own blog. (if they want).
1. I am sorry you had a crappy childhood, and your dad was an SOB. I know watching your best friend die in front of you had to be hard, but that was over 20 years ago. Its time to come to grips with things, deal with them and move on. The way you are acting is not only destroying you, it is destroying everyone who ever has or still does care about you. You are a parent and need to think about more than just your own needs.
2. I know you did the best you could with what you had. I have long since forgiven you for the past. Now that I am an adult I understand you a lot better, but please stop pretending like things were so rosy and great back then, when we both know the truth.
3.You will never understand how much I love you and how much guilt I feel for the mistakes of the past. I totally understand that you have to deal with more as a kid, than most people can cope with as an adult. Too often I blame myself for things. Part of me thinks you sometimes use this to your advantage, but know that I am aware of it.
4. Why do you all ask so much when I'm commign back up, or if I'm comming to the reunion. I find your latent concen a tad less than touching, considering when we were in class together you couldn't be bothered to give me the time of day, and wouldn't have invited me to your parties if someone offered to pay you.
5. Considering I've only met you twice I can understand your reluctance to call or write, but one would think you would have at least some interest in your only grandchild, no matter how you might feel about your own son. At least my son has one grandmother willing to be Gramma. It's your loss more than his.
6. I'm sorry I haven't been around or in touch with you more. But the truth is I just can't afford to keep up with you or do all the things you do. I feel so jealous sometimes when I hear about things I'm missing. Its my issue and has nothing to do with you, you are wonderful.
7. It might not appear like it, but I really do love you. However you really do get on my nerves, and don't think I didn't know how you would play the innocent victim when we were kids, just to get me in trouble. You are not nearly as disabled as you would have everybody believe. Stop playing helpless, just so others will take care of you.
8. You are a sweet person and a great neighbor. I'm sorry we were so mean to you when we worked together back at ******. You seem to be doing pretty good for yourself. I'd love to be your friend.
9. If you want to feed the birds and the squirrels so much, why don't you throw your left overs in the back yard. I know you can't see them from your window than, but it looks really tacky and messy when you leave it in the parking lot.
10. Thank you so much for everything, you have no idea how much all of your wishes, comments and advice mean to me. I don't know what I would have done all these last few years with out you. (this is aimed at several people not just one - so I guess I sort of cheated).
Today was one of those days that started off on the wrong foot, but ended up on pretty good note.
Warren and I had bad fight, in West Acres of all places. But we ended up making up and having a long talk. We had a way to huge late lunch/early dinner at Royal Fork and than waddled down to Walmart to spend way too much on groceries. Since getting back we've been watching really stupid movies on Comedy Central. Though Warren thinks they are hysterical.
In other good news, Warren has been losing weight with out really knowing it. I can tell because his pants are fitting him better. He doesn't even know he is on diet, because I've managed to not make it feel like a diet. He still gets pizza and soda just not nearly as often. I no longer by cases or 6 packs. If he wants a soda he has to ride or walk to the store and get one. Since he likes veggies anyway, I've been adding a lot more (fresh) produce to our diet. Instead of junk food, he's been going for the fruit for his snacks. He still feels full but with a lot fewer and more nutrient dense calories. Since we don't have a car (which is tough, but not impossible to live without), he has also been getting alot more exercise. I am so devious that way.
I also called the cops on Mike today. Not here at the house, but after he left I reported him for driving illegally and for having a not exactly valid registration. I know he has probably got some illegals in his pocket. I'm not sure if he's been picked up or not. I'm not taking a chance on him attemting to drive with Warren. This will also give me a bit more time to see about getting legal recourse to keep him away from both me and Warren.
Warren of course is torn between loving his father, being loyal to me, wanting peace and wishing his dad would just get it together already, but still being in denial about how serious his dad's behavior and issues really are. Since I'm the one who will always be here, I'm the one who it is safe to vent on.
Oh and did I mention Warren got me an Obi-Wan and Darth Vader Galactic Heroes for Mother's Day. Beat's flowers and Candy anyday. Even though I payed for Royal Fork it still technically counts as my Mom's day Dinner. Tommorrow would be too crowded anyway. It's been 5 hours since we left and I'm just now starting to not feel like my stomach will exlode.
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there reading this, or anyone who is like a mom to someone.
Prequels ~ Sequels
Music of the mind: :
~*~Have you read these~*~
~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~
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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.
I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.
I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.