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Wit's end part 2

Monday, Jan. 30, 2006 @ 10:57 am
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Thank you everyone, for your support. I talked to one of the officers at Juvy court this morning. I have to be in court at 1pm this afternoon (which meant taking a mental health day from work as I really didn't want to explain to my super why I needed a day off during such a busy time, on such short notice).

Today we just meet with the judge privately since he is a Juvy, to determine if they will release him into my custody, which they most likely will. Than another date will be set for his actual court hearing, similiar to how it works in adult court, only closed to the public and sealed when he turns 18.

He still won't fully admit what he did, to hear him, all the school is ganging up on him. They may over react sometimes, but I don't think they are making things up. I think he is just pissed that he can't manipulate people anymore, and he is loosing control. He needs to loose control. I've babied him too much, and rescued him too many times. It is time for him to face the consequences of his actions head on, as it is better he learn now, than when he is 18 and they throw him in the with the big boys.

His PSP has already been safely hidden away. His games are comming with some strict rules, the sleepovers are off until further notice, and oh he will definately have his hands full with chores. He has blown almost all of my trust in him. He will have a long time to work before he can earn it back again.

I know he is a good kid, he just can't seem to be bothered to stop and think. He is like one of those people who you read about, over intelligent people who do very dumb things. He can't seem to see the consquences of his actions beyond the here and now. He was mad and he wanted out. It never occured to him, that his actions could dramatically affect the rest of his life.

The truth is I could have made a better effort to bail him out on Friday, but I said forget it. I have to work all weekend, and he is not going to be rewarded with the chance to spend the weekend at home playing video games adn watching movies with his buddies. He wants to get in grown up sized trouble, he can face the consquences of his actions. Maybe if his father had had a bit more tough love, he wouldn't be such an idiot now. I told him, I'm not going to rescue you can fix it all anymore. If he wants to make a damn mess, let him clean it up.

The program he is in at school is working too. They found a computer program he really likes and he reading is really improving. He is actually reading things on his own. Last Wednesday he actually baked a pan of brownies, from the box and they turned out good. I wasnt' even home. I only took a small sample, but I made sure to make out they were suprememly excellent.

I think part of it, is when anyone, especially a male (he used to love MR. M, now he hates him), he gets scared and has to push them away before they can leave and hurt him like Mike has repeatedly done. When he gets good at something, he wants to poo poo it, or make sour grapes because he is afraid of failing. He is smarter than anyone, but is wired so that he has to work harder and while that ain't fair, it is what it is, and he can either deal with it and make the best of it, or waste his life feeling sorry for himself. Many people have tough childhoods and personal issues, and still manage to be successful adults who don't go around hitting people when they get mad. It is his choice.

I also know I havne't always set the best example and I could've/should've/oughta've done many things differently. I have a lot of guilt, but I can't change the past only the future.

He has some hard lessons to learn, it took me a long way to learn.

I'm typing this at the local public library so I need to get off. I also need to make myself eat. So far today all I've had is my one per day allowed can of Coke. I need to get some protein before I have a sugar crash.

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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