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Have you seen Leanna Warner?
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'do the hokey pokey....

Sunday, Jan. 08, 2006 @ 9:02 pm
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I think instead of the terrible twos, it really should be the terrible twelves. Two was easy compared to this. Yeah there were tantrums, and so forth, but at least he didn't have a mouth the size of an asteroid, with an attitude to match, not to mention sending him to bed, or making him move was a lot easier when I could throw him over my shoulder. He is seriously in danger of not making 13, if he doesn't get over this attitude and I mean soon.

I am tired of suddenly being uncool, embarrassing, incapable of doing or knowing anything, of suddenly being wrong about everything I know, and to blame for all that is wrong with his life. That isn't to say he has become a bad kid, he is a good kid, with a good heart. He is trying hard at school, and did well last week. I know he loves me, but unfortunately he is reaching the point where his hormones out rule his brain. Yup that dreaded enemy, the one I was hoping I wouldn't have to deal with has entered the picture. A phase I was not looking foreward too, one that makes all teens (and adults) insane.

Ladies and gentleman, my son has discovered GIRLS. They have called here (so far no giggling) and his best friend, the junior Cassanova (hearing Warren talk about him, worries me, as this kid is apparently some kind of 13 year old Sam Malone for girls with "issues". Add in Warren's weight issues, normal teenage appearance and self esteem issues, you have a perfect recipe for full on, world sucks, you did this too me, everybody hates me, I hate my looks, I wish I had a girlfriend..angsty miserable middle school teenage blues...

Naturally as the mother and only parent with him on a regular basis and the one who actually does all the parenting. I get all the blame for this. I've tried to explain that I know where he is comming from (kids seem to think parents were born adults or something), and I've been a fat 12 year old, but I think I'd get farther talking to my bathroom door. I've been working on making us healthier and on suggestions for loosing weight with out radical changes, but he still thinks there is some magical fix all means that will let him eat an entire pizza and still drop pounds.

To help you understand him a little better, I think a brief bit of background history is in order. Warren was born a normal average weight, however due to my inablity to hold food the entire nine months or even keep in enough to gain a decent amount of weight he looked much smaller than his 7 pounds 4.25 ounces. He was solid muscle, and had very little baby fat. As a child he was very active and remained a small skinny, tall for his age child. He was extremely active, by 4.5 months he could sit if I put him in a sitting position. By 6 months he was crawling and pulling himself up, by 9.5 months he could walk, by 10 months he was running like he has been doing it all his life. In first grade, at age 7 (he repeated kindergarten), his behavior really started to fall apart. I won't get into all the details right now (it would take too long), from a combination of issues. To make a long story short he ended up in PSJ, and one of the first meds he was on, happened to be Risperadal. It worked on his behavior, unfortunately it also doubled his appetite and he started really packing on the pounds. He was still active, but eating more than he was running off.

This became a major sore spot issue between me and Mike, but at the time Warren didn't seem to have many issues with it. I have been fat since puberty, hormones and mental illness all went freaky on my around that age (thank the maker at least boys don't have periods). I got depressed and self medicated my emotions with creamy sauces, chocolate, soda and potato chips. I've lost a lot of weight a couple of times, but it always came back. Mike says he had some weight issues as a kid, but a guy can get away with more, also he managed to drop a ton as an adult, but I didn't take advantage of illegal pharacuteals, and wanted Warren to feel I accepted him as is no matter what. But as time went on, Warren became more aware of his limitiations, and was not blind to how normal/skinny people look at fat people. We tried different diets and eating plans but nothing ever lasted. With Mike and I fighting and breaking up, my working and school and stress, it was just easier to eat out, order pizza or making some convience food, or comfort food. My guilt wouldn't let me tell him no to the double cheese burger, or extra soda. We are both paying for it now. I am trying to make small healthier changes. I don't buy or make cookies, I don't buy chips or candy except as occassional treats. I'm trying to slowly add more activity. He is interested, at least until it gets hard. He complains I walk to slow. I have shorter legs and smaller feet, even when I was hyperactive as a kid, I was more of a tortoise than a hare. I told him he could walk ahead of me, or walk a different route, but he got angry (to be honest I wasn't polite about it I got snappy). He got mad and went back home.

The other day he was in a good mood one minute than came back from Sam Cassanova's house and suddenly he was angry snappy and just plain obnoxious. I asked a simple question and had my head handed to me on a platter. He proceed to tell me how I ruined his life adn I wanted him to be fat. How I am so stupid and didn't think and should have made different choices but obvously I didn't care about him, and just wanted him to shut up and so on and so on. He knows this pushes my buttons big time. I ended up leaving just to get some air and before I did something we would both regret. He ended up comming after me. We had more words, but I think for this time we came to somewhat of an understanding, at least on this.

The other issue, is his idea that I should somehow wait on him, and that when I ask him to do something he can do it when ever, if ever. Add in, than trying to lie to me about it, though badly and quickly owning up when it became obvious I wasn't buying it. He also has this know it all attitude. I used to know all sorts of things, now all of a sudden I'm an idiot?

Tell me, how do you make it to your child's 18th birthday with out committing homicide?

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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