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I need help mom

Friday, Dec. 16, 2005 @ 7:26 am
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I'm still trying to process the events of the last 24 hours, so if there are a few typos, or I don't make complete sense, you'll have to excuse me.

Yesterday my son was sick all day in school again. Apparently for a number of reasons they had trouble contacting me. It seems shortly after school started Warren started feeling crappy again (this is about the 4th time in two weeks he has been sent home "sick"). I finally picked him up that afternoon as he was feeling very poorly and also (again) being in a crappy mood and making life very hard for the staff. I could see he wasn't well when I brought him home, but like all the times before he managed to make a full miraculous recovery in a couple of hours. I have had him to medical doctors three times. He has tested negative for strep, his temp is always normal and the doctors could find nothing medically wrong.

When he made another recovery yesterday, (he had thrown up in school also). I finally got upset, and frustrated with him, convinced that possibly he really was trying to pull something or something was going on. After fighting over it, it finally came out. He is so anxioius and frustrated at school. He wants to behave and feels like shit that sometimes he can't. He is basically making himself sick, meaning at the time he is sick, though I think it is imore psychosomatic, than physical. He is basically making himself sick emotionally. For the first time ever he finally admitted he needed help, that he doesn't want to be like this. He hates school, Mrs. J makes him so nervous and anxious, he feels like she is waiting for him to screw up and he can't win. Even though he is probably twice as smart as many of the kids in his class, he still feels like a R****. I hate that word, and all its conotations, but that is the word he used. He feels like they expect him to be dumb. I know his behavior needs work, but I also fear his academics is getting ignored inthe process.

He actually begged me to take him to PSJ. He doesnt want to go to school Monday (becuase of his 'illnes' on Thurs, the school told him to stay home Friday. If he was to sick for work, than he can't go swimming or movie and needs to recover, I semi agree). He finally awknowledged his behavior and what is going on. I ended up bringing him to PSJ. While he was a bit nervous and anxious he did a great job of talking to the intake worker.

In a nutshell, he won't be admitted to the hospital, however he will start PHP (partial hospitalization program) on Tuesday, sooner if they can make room. This is basically an outpatient type of program for kids. He will have school time, but also will have individual and group therapy, as well as family therapy. My only regret with this choice is that Dr. O (the one who died a few weeks ago, too lazy to find entry link), won't be there. He had such a rapport with Warren, he was a credit to his profession, and will leave some very big and hard to fill shoes. I know it is going to be hard for Warren to adjust. Warren is still convinced meds won't help, but I am convinced (and Tom Cruise can eat me), that meds in this case will be part of his program. We may be making some changes either in dosageing, or in meds themselves, but something has to change. At least now he can get intense help, more attention and still sleep at home at night. I think I am most likely going to keep him home Monday too if he can't get in early.

I know we have been down this road before, but than he was always somewhat less than willing, more like going along becaue he had to . He made alot of progress. Hopefully this breakthru will be what he needs. And hopefully we can also get some testing refferals to find out exactly what that nature of his LD is and what adaptations will be best. He has a very high IQ, and I will not let him waste it. I have a feeling his biggest gift is also his biggest problem. He can see lots of details but he has a very hard time seeing the whole picture. He can't see a forrest, he can only see a bunch of individual trees, with different leaf patterns, shades of green etc.. Great for when you are fixing something, but not so great when you are trying to read and need to see words, sentences and paragraphs, not just a bunch of letters, and letter combinations. His math skills test out above average, and his verbal skills blow off the chart. If this reading thing (which is huge) wasn't in his way, there would be no stopping him.

I hope this works. I could use all the good vibes, prayers, wishes, spells, whatever..

My cube war suddenly seems less important. (I seem to be sharing my cube with someone who is built like a T-rex, long legs short arms, not easy to do when I am built more like a Hobbit minus the hairy feet. So we area always moving everything and altering the chair. We've never met, yet we seem to have a mini war going on. It took me forever to get used to her new ergonomic keyboard. Now I like it better, my wrists appreciate it, but it was a bugger to adjust to.

Time to go fight with my car and hope I get to work on time, and not in a ditch somewhere. It is very icy here again.. I have a lot to think about, I need to look into possibly some other options. For Warren I mean.

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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