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Recently shared thoughts

Moms and sons

Thursday, Sept. 29, 2005 @ 7:36 pm
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This has to be one of the funniest things I've read in awhile. Anyone who has tried to bake with a small child in the house should get a kick out of it. (warning it does have sound and no way to turn it off, so if you aren't a big fan of Rockin Robin, you may want to adjust your speakers).

Warren had another great day at school. I am hoping now that he has a friend in his class, and things are more settled at home, school will improve. He seems to want to do good, despite being at an age when school isn't cool. I know my middle school years were pretty sucky, I can't think of any adult who would want to relive that awkward period.

Despite image I gave in my previous rant, he really is a good kid. I am sure alot of it stems from his age, and his hormones, not too mention all the changes and pressures he is going through. Add in being a developing boy, living with a single mother, during a period when he is trying to separate and figure out his own identity, what exactly it means to be a man (his dad is not example), and distance himself from me, while also still keeping me close, it isn't hard to figure out why we get into fights over the stupidest stuff. Sometimes we don't even know what we are fighting over. I think some of it may just be a power issue, I can see where he feels like he doens't get a say in anything, so I try to give him more choices, but sometimes there just isn't a choice. Sometime he is going to have to make nice with people he doens't like, and do things he doesn't want to, it's part of life and the sooner he learns that lesson, the easier adult life will be.

It is also hard for me to let go, and realize he isn't a baby anymore. Tuesday when I was picking him up I saw some of the other kids getting out, and it hit me, really hit me for the first time, childhood is ending. These kids in adult like bodiesa are my son's peers. He has friends who shave, he is taller than me, he doens't need me nearly as much anymore. He's growing up and moving away from me. I knew this would come, many nights when I was up all night with him screaming for no discernable reason I prayed for it. But now it is happening so fast. He's grown over 5 inches this year and looking at him in the grocery store I think he may have grown some more. He is so independent.

I work at 8:30 and his bus doesn't come until 9:10, so he has to get himself out the door and on the bus, and he does a great job. He comes home by himself and makes his own snack and entertains himself. He fixes things, and knows about things I don't. He has opinions, he is establishing a separate identity. And while everyday seems long, the years have been so fast. He is trying to separate, but is scared to get to far away. I am trying to let him go, but I'm not ready yet. It seems to be a never ending kabuki dance, and instead of actually talking about what is really going on, we fight about my repeating myself too many times and annoying him, or his smug attitude (which I suspect is just a cover up for his insecurities). Being older also means he is discovering that mom doens't know it all, and unlike when he was three and I blew away the ouchies, I can no longer fix everything, nor do I have the answers for every question. I am no longer super woman, I am human and flawed. He has also discovered the opposite sex, even though he won't be allowed to date for sometime yet, that doesn't change the fact that many of the feeling are there, and we all know what a can of worms that opens up.

I just hope both of us can get thru this with our sanity still intact. I am trying to understand his point of view, but at the same time I am still his mother and there is a certain level of respect that I expect him to give me. Lately he has more lip than Mick Jaeger at a kissing booth and I am sick of it.

Was anybody else a fan of the old 70's tv show Night Stalker. I used to love the reruns on SciFi channel, it was so campy, yet serious but not too much. But now they are redoing it with Stuart Townsend, and while I like it so far, I can't help but feel so far (I'm only half way thru the first episode), that something is missing. But I'll be a good fan, and give a few more episodes before I decide for sure.

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Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass:
Thankful For: Night Court on Tvland. I love that show
Music of the mind: : More Stones tunes.. I seem to have an obsession lately

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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