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Brain dumps

Monday, Sept. 05, 2005 @ 5:37 pm
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I wonder if it is possible for tweenage boys to have a male version of PMS. If Warren were a girl I'd have a very good idea of what his problem most likely is, but since boys don't get periods I'm just going to chalk it up to some other sort of hormone issues/stress/change in schools/he's becomming a man what else could I expect.

The other day we had a huge fight in the car, and I couldn't even tell you at this point what we were fighting over. I know I have some responsiblity not to loose my temper, but I'm human and have feelings too. Today he had a major meltdown because when I cleaned up the other day I threw out his PS2 cheat codes. I say if it is on the floor and crumply and ripped than it looks like garbage to me. Warren felt otherwise and completely ripped me a new one, than proceed to have the 12 year old's version of the kind of tantrum one would expect from a 2 year old being told he couldn't have a cookie. After taking off on his bike for 30 minutes or so he seemed to get a grip on himself, and we managed to make a truce, but I am still very hurt by many of the things he said.

I'm trying to give him a little room, as I know he is very upset about his dad, even though he tries to pretend like it doens't bother him. Its a dualing emotional crisis I'm sure. He hates him and what he has done to us, but also loves him and will miss him, even though at least when he is in jail he knows where he is and doesn't have to worry so much. That's a lot for anyone to deal with much less a twelve year old trying to figure out where his place in the universe is, and wishing he could be more like other kids his age and not so different. I feel for him, I wish he didn't have to go thru so much and I wish we could afford more. I know he says he understands, but I think deep down he still wishes everything wasn't such a struggle all the time.

He is still having sinus issues, though they are much better since I took him to the walk in on Thursday night. He did have a sinus infection after all, so he is taking amoxocillian and Allegra-D. He is still blowing his nose alot, but not nearly as much, and he no longer feels like he has to sleep sitting up to breathe. He also isn't snoring nearly as bad.

The weather is also getting nasty up here again. The last few nights it has rained heavily. Last night there was hail. I woke up in the middle of the night and it sounded like somebody was throwing rocks at my window. Now there is a tornado warning for Cass County. Lets just hope it doesn't touch down. Living in ND, I have a small idea of what is is like to be trapped in your house for a few days with no way to get out, even if it was due to a blizzard and not a flood. I remember times as a kid when the power would go out for a day or two, and I remember once as a kid when the flooding of the swamps on either side of our farm was bad enough due to cloudbursts and soft ground that there was water in the basement bad enough to have my dad send my mom, my little brother and me to a motel in town for a night while he stayed home and stayed up all night manning the sumpump. I have no idea what it is like to be one of the refugees in NOLA, but I do know how a few days of being trapped in a small area with no power and not a lot to do, but worry and think can turn even the most sainliest person quite ugly. Unless you have been there, you are in no position to judge. While I was lucky and had no loss in the flood of '97 and Fargo managed to escape by the meer skin of its teeth (a few more inches and we would have been in the same boat. I've helped sandbag, I watched on tv and saw places I loved and had memories of burn while being under water. I've worried about people I knew who would have had to leave. Let one who has lost everything they own, and had no where to go and no way to get there, be the one to cast the first stone.

It is easy to sit in a nice warm house, with lots of food, and working toilets and a job to go to, and pass judgement and say woulda, coulda, shoulda, oughta. Its easy to sit back and say I would..its not so easy when you are facing it and it is really happening. And natural disasters can just as easily happen to any of us. One 8 - 10.0 earthquake would have the same effect on Los Angeles or San Fransisco. Volcanoes in Washington, or Hawaii, Tornandos in the midwest, Blizzards in the north, flooding anywhere there are low lying water areas, Hurricanes any where in the southeast from Texas all the way around Florida and up thru the Carolinas.

When it comes to mother nature, skin color, income, religion, politics make no difference, she is an equal opportunity force. It is only human beings, who are supposed to be evolved and civiilized who dare to make such judgements. These are all human beings, and its time for us to get over ourselves, and stop grouping people in to classes and groups and deciding which ones are worth helping and which one's aren't. Whose acceptable as a neighbor and who isn't. Until we get over this us vs them mentality nothing will ever change.

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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