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Recently shared thoughts

self analysis, lab tests and language differences.

Friday, Aug. 13, 2004 @ 3:25 pm
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Holly, your subconscious mind is driven most by Curiosity

This means you are full of questions about life, people, and the potential of your future. You spend more time than others envisioning the possibilities of your life things that others are too afraid to consider.

Your curiosity burns with an almost physical need to know and do more. It's only through new experiences that you feel a greater understanding of yourself or the world which ultimately is the greatest way for you to feel satisfied.

It is possible that the underlying reason for your drive towards curiosity is a deeply rooted fear of boredom. That means that you are probably more susceptible than others to feel like you're falling into a rut when life slows down into a comfortable routine.

You need to make sure you have stimulation in your life that makes you feel like you're innovating or being exposed to the ideas and experiences that truly inspire you.

With such a strong orientation towards curiosity, you're also prone to a rebellious quality that shows up when you feel you are just going through the motions, and are unable to really influence the world around you. But interestingly enough, your drive towards novel experiences also indicates an openness others don't have, but wish they did.

Unconsciously, your curiosity presses you to learn more, experience more, and get the most out of life.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Curiosity, there is much more to who you are at your core.

According to the same site I also have an Emotional Quotient, or emotional IQ of 124, with my stongest area being that of expression. I'm not sure exactly where that places me on the curve, but I am pretty sure it is fairly high up. I think that explains alot, as I am definately a very emotional person, at least sometimes. Sometimes a little too emotional if I were to be honest. I also find the inkblot test to be a little scary with its accuraccy. As I have noticed that much of my life, I have been torn between the comfortable and familiar and a drive to experience and learn something new. Its weird, but as soon as I start to remotely get good at something, I start to loose interest in it, and it isn't as much fun anymore. Yet at the same time, I have a bit of a time learning sometihng new at first, because I don't like feeling dumb in front of others. The scariest part of all, is if I could make a living as a student, going to class all the time I probably would, as there is just so much intersting stuff out there, and so many things to learn, that it would be impossible to learn them all at once.

Yet in the process I also seem to have a knack for totally avoiding unpleasant things, to the point where I can get myself in deep trouble, because the cover of denial is easier and more pleasant the facing the inevitable and dealing with what ever tough issue I need to face. Yet once I do manage to face it, it is usually never quite as bad as my imagination made it out to be. But still it happens again and again. I've got a masters degree in hiding from life, while still maintaining the appearance of the opposite.

Is it any wonder I managed to develop a mental illness.

I just got off the phone with the nurse at Meritcare, apparently the Dr.s and the labs need to get thier act together. The Dr. told me it would take about 2 days for the Whooping cough results to come back. So I just got off the phone with the nurse at the clinic.

"Oh they've been telling everybody that it takes two days, but we have to send those to state (Bismarck), and they've been taking closer to 7-10 days to come back".

so it looks like just to be on the safe side Warren is stuck at home till Monday when he will be done with the antibiotics and two or so days after that, we will find out if it was for nothing or what. He still has a bad cough, but not nearly as bad as it was. So if he does have it, its a fairly mild case. Though it can have some periods where it sounds worse. He is feeling fine most of the time, but a little under the weather others.

But to make up for it, I did rent him a PS2 for the weekend. We also rented a few movies, but so far the only one we have watched is Unbreakable - which I thought was great. It was a bit different, but typical Shalyman, right down to the twist at the end. This time I didn't see it coming, with Sixth Sense I saw it comming a mile away, 1/4 in to the movie, I'm thinking Bruce Willis is dead (sorry to spoil it, but if you haven't seen it at this point you've had plenty of chances). I really liked Sam Jackson's performance, I never saw the twist. I havne't seen the Villiage yet, so I can't judge that one, but this was definatley better than Signs - which was okay, not bad, but could have been better. And I think I like it a little better than Sixth Sense, which while good, still left me feeling like there was a small something missing. I am hoping to see The Villiage soon. It looks great.

Tonight will be HellBoy as it has to be back tommorrow. Then we also have Gothika (which I don't really want Warren to see) and Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. They are strange, but funny as hell, once you adjust your brain to British humor. I love Monty Python. The store has several other MP videos I want to rent as well.

It also got me to thinking, how even though the US and Britian both speak English (and Australia and Canada) we have some very different slang. Soem of it is easy to figure out, Trainers vs sneakers, trolley vs shopping cart, bonnet vs hood, lift vs elelevator. But every once in while there are terms that can be so radically different between the two as to really make one wonder. For example most British people I know use the word fag as an innocent term for ciggarettes, but what's so funny is at that a term of everyday use and innocence in one country can have such a radical and much more negative and totally different meaning someplace else. Here the US, a term used by Brits and Aussie's for a smoke, somehow came to be a derogatory term for homosexual men. In another case, a number of years ago I was talking on IcQ to a fellow SWC (Star Wars Chick) in Perth (Australia) and she was talking about getting drunk and the whole time I thought she was talking about falling down and hurting herself. When I said oh you mean you were.... (I can't remember the exact conversation).. she was like "huh??"..

I just find it facsinating how two different, but not that different cultures can take the same language and turn similiar expressions into completely different meanings. I'm sure it has made for more than one hilarious misunderstanding, even though most are easy enough to figure out if you pay attention to the rest of the words, and how they are used.

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Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass: People who speed up as soon as you try to pass them
Thankful For: movies to watch
Music of the mind: : Flying Circus opening music

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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