Does anybody want a ten year old?
Why is it when you are at your crankiest, because you are tired, comming down with something and pmsing all at the same time, pre-adolescents decide that is the best time to see how far over the edge they can push mom before she jumps?
Case in point, one Warren Michael ********, ages ten years 10 months, (and who may never make it to ten years 11 months, if he doesn't knock it the hell off). Apparently all those years of talking about 911 and what is and isn't emergency was just my way of giving free carbon dioxide to nearby plants. Today at work I'm on a call, and a message flashes up that I need to call my son -- ASAP. Okay like any mother I start imagining all sorts of horrible scenarios. Did he start the house on fire, did somebody loose an important body part, are there a squad of cops at my door, did aliens take over the neighborhood, crazy shit like that. I finish my call in record time and rush to call home, hoping I still have one.
"MOM!!! What did you do with Alex's CD? Help I can't find it anywhere? I need it NOW!!"
Excuse me!! for this I nearly ran over somebody, sprinting to the phone, freaking my self out. THIS IS an Emergency???? This is not an emergency!! I thought it was something important!! When the house is on fire or there is blood involved or anythign else that might make you think of 911 then you call me at work and tell me to call asap. IF you can't find a CD, you look around or you wait till I get home. Alex can just deal.
Thanks mom!! Alex is going to be mad. I just want to know what you did with it.
Its where ever you left it. Look around and just deal with it. Now I have to get back to work. I'll see you when I get home.
On top of this, when I get home I find a ripped garbage bag on the floor in the living room, next to a pair of clippers, with tell tale read hair all over the floor and some actually making it on to the bag. His hair was already super short. Now he's going to be either wearing a hat, or slathering his head in sunscreen. That didn't have me too upset, except for the mess. I figure its hair and it will grow back. It not like he had four letter words tatooed on his head or something.
But then as I am hearing dinner, I hear a bunch of noise upstairs, where Larry and Moe have come to join up with Curly. I ask what is going on, and get smarted off to. I tell you he is lucky I didn't kill him. I did come close to maiming him though, but I was a good mother and I resisted. Needless to say he did get the evil look and stern talking to after that one.
It didnt' help that we were with out power all last night, so he spent the night at a friends house (Alex across the street, more on him later), and I listend to my radio on batteries all night as I am paranoid of over sleeping, and for some bizarre reason I am one of those very odd ducks that can't sleep in a quiet room. (I think that stems from my childhood where my room would stick me in my room for the day when she couldn't cope with me anymore).
Then this morning I ended up driving both Warren and Alex to school. Since I had to buy breakfast for Warren and I, and Alex (who is an eating machine anyway - whenever I am making anything, it seems he is here and more than willing to help eat some) was there I had to feed him too. (couldn't very well say sorry kid just watch us eat, esp since he apparently doesn't eat breakfast at home very often)
Apparently for whatever reason, he doesn't usually bring or have snack at school either. I found this out this morning while we were eating and Warren begged me for 50 cents. I gave it to him, only to see him give it to Alex. When I asked what that was all about he told me it was so Alex can have snack.
Assuming that is the truth, how can anybody so sweet be so damn exasperating!!
Prequels ~ Sequels
Daily Dumbass: Me- yesterday- long story
Thankful For: electricity and heat. I love hot showers
Music of the mind: : "not a dry eye in the house"
~*~Have you read these~*~
~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
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~ Bleech ~
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